Google’s got jokes: their best April Fools day posts

You know what’s fun about Google? April Fool’s day. They like a good joke, and on days like today, create their own in celebration. The best part is, theirs are obvious, and usually really funny. We’ve gone ahead and rounded up Google’s better attempts at humor today, just for you, our adoring readers.

Dog Explorers

Google’s City Experts program might be their grassroots efforts to knock off Yelp, but they aren’t counting on you. Nobody knows your neighborhood like the dogs, and Google wants their help this time. Trees, bushes, random garbage throughout — no human could understand what’s going on with all that, but your dog does. Many joke. So dogs. Lol reviews.

The Hoff

Look, you don’t mess with the Hoff, but if he wants to mess with you — deal with it. He’s the Hoff. If Hoff wants to bomb your photos, it’s gonna happen, like it or not. This might be an April Fool’s prank, but we wouldn’t mind if it stayed. First one to get Hoff to photobomb a picture of them eating a hamburger off the floor gets our undying praise.

Fiber Coffee

You know what’s awesome? Google Fiber. You know what’s awesome that you can actually get? Coffee. If you’re lucky enough to have or be getting Fiber (like me, next year… jealous much?), the Fiber team will bring coffee to you as well. In addition to Fiber lines, Google is installing coffee lines to bring you coffee at breakneck speeds. This is not a joke. I refuse to believe it’s a joke. Just stop talking about it being a joke. I need this, alright?!

Pokemon

Open Google Maps, and there are Pokemon. You’re supposed to catch the Pokemon. This also may be real, or at least we’ve been doing it for some time on our own and can’t tell the difference anymore. Click the search bar, and there is a Pokeball waiting for you. Pokemon pop up on the map, and you have to go there in person to capture them! Better than Ingress? Yeah, it is.

Magic Hand

Google Japan came through on this one with Magic hand, which helps to alleviate tired hands so you can keep playing, typing, or whatever else you need to do with your smartphone. Smartphones are taxing, what with all the typing and scrolling and — ugh. It even comes in some Enter The Dragon style hand options, which is even cooler than real typing. We’re going to assume this came from X Labs because science.

Gmail Shelfie

You use Gmail, and you take selfies. Don’t lie, you do it. We’re not mad, and we don’t want you to stop. We just want you to share your selfies so we can enjoy them, too. Gmail Shelfies is just that — shared selfies. Set it as a theme for your web Gmail, but be careful — too awesome and you might end up on Google’s trending list. If you think this is fake, Google created a chart to explain why it’s the right thing to do. There is a chart, which means science — and that means X Labs. You guys thought Sergey forgot about us here in the regular world, but he didn’t.

Nest goes Virgin

First, there was no way to create a header for this without giggling, so sorry about that (not really). If you fly Virgin, though, you won’t be sorry. Nest has partnered with Virgin to bring temperature control to your seat, creating a microclimate for your flight. Stuffy plane? Enjoy a nice fall day with Nest. Need to hammer out a base tan before hitting the sunny streets of London? No, nobody does. Ever. Stupid dreary Europe. At least Nest and Virgin is better than those terrible little air blasters above your seat.

Waze Dates

This brings a contextual layer to dating, which is weird. I’m not sure we’re supposed to be doing this, but if you need to meet someone, maybe this is the best way? I don’t know, but it’s like Craigslist’s “missed connections” meets Maps, so be forewarned. Crowd sourced dating might be perfect for so many people, so the real question is how could Google have missed the boat on this?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v==XfCS9CN91RU#t=16

Emoji the Chrome

Look, you get tired of words, I get tired of words, so let’s just stop looking at some of them. Words are wonderful, but so boring sometimes. What if there were enough smiley faces to make up for those lame words? There are, and Google compiled them for us, then put them into Chrome. We’ll call it ChromEmoji.

Auto Awesome Resume

Resumes are also boring, and we haven’t yet figured out how to make them un-boring (yeah, that’s a word, ChromEmoji it if you want), so Google is auto-awesomeing (also a word…) them for us. You list all your fun little hobbies, and Google is going to help you stand out by taking your activities and bringing the same fun they did to Google+ photos. There are even themes, and job pairing to Google jobs. Pretty sure Vic Gundotra mentioned he liked Doge to me once, so I’m going to apply for a job at Google using that theme to catch his eye. I have an “in”!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IeWkXmPqpA#t=110

Cat Keyboard

Think dogs are going to have all the fun? They just smell things and eat bones. Cats are regal beasts, and deserve better. Google has created a cat keyboard for us (them?), allowing our furry friends to let us know exactly what’s needed from us, their human servants. They type, it translates, and we all win.

Conclusion

There you have it, the latest “news” from Google! We appreciate the good natured fun from each of the teams, and already look forward to next year’s offerings. We’re thinking Android (under)Wear and some Chrome security feature involving actual Chrome armor. Get to it, Google!